Blue
My Sunday best, my mirror, my river,
Drowning in your diamond eyes, every single time.
Loneliness loves me like a brother.
It is a bond that even the coldest hands cannot crack.
There’s Morpho butterflies that flutter,
They swing and sing in my stomach.
Missing something that was mine in secret,
But was never really mine at all.
My sadness cannot stop inviting anxiety to her parties.
She loves leaving oceans of unanswerable,
Unneeded questions to be cleaned up under the midnight sky.
The wonder wraps me up and waltzes me up to the moon.
Getting so lost you accept second
Sorrys and third sorrys and fourth and so on.
A shade of shame that swallows me whole.
A silence so loud it hums.
Memories of winter, holding hands,
And comparing cold breaths on slushy sidewalks.
My insecurity echoes and cries into my shoulder,
I am left here alone with pales full of what if.
Whispers of wind like thoughts hold me hostage.
I punch a hole in roof and beg God
To throw me a rope to climb through it,
Desperation always had me by the neck.