Devon

Devon by: Karina Montesinos, Gouache, 2013.

Photograph
by: D. Parman

I saw myself the other day
in a multi-hued memory of the past
beaming with vapid delight.
The lie of my life hidden
under a perfectly powdered veneer.
I laughed
as I looked into my faux facade,
recalling
the hour the image was graven.
The chaos of my life
carefully contained
In long and curling
statements about my hips.
I was pretty then.

I,
Always alone
among others
that thought they glimpsed,
a glimmer of
what never was
in my lacquered laughter.
Verdant sunshine
glimmering off
ivory silk insecurity.

Cringing,
from the corners of my conscious mind,
memories come unbidden.
15 blood-stained ghosts
enact a long-dead war
to mock me.
And I wish I’d known
I was pretty then.

I wish
I’d been taught to love
the lonely young lady
with the smile she painted on
just that morning,
every morning,
hoping
it would come to life,
and be real.

back to archive 2013